On Learning and Grades

Remember last year when I took a year off to go and learn solely for the sake of learning?

I'm trying to refind that passion.

It's not that there weren't any grades involved. There were. But they honestly didn't matter. At that point, I'd already been accepted to Duke; they didn't even request to see my grades during my year off. I don't know if they knew there were grades involved. And of course I always strived to get the best grade I possibly could. But at the end of the day, the grades only mattered to me personally; nothing else was riding on these grades. At the end of the day, I was working hard because I wanted to.

Well, here at Duke, grades are important again. They do determine my future.

I'm trying to work hard again because I want to. But it's hard.

I'm in a lot of classes that I don't completely understand. (Math 212 should be renamed Mulitvariable Calculus: Unvarying Confusion.) It's really frustrating. And I'm in a lot of classes out of pure requirement. I don't really love chemistry, but it's a required course for engineers. And I understand the importance of these courses, and I still enjoy learning. But at the end of the day, am I putting all of this effort into these courses so that I can learn, or just so I can get a decent grade?

Even my Chinese class, the sole subject of my last year's endeavors, has become more of a burden in my mind. It's just another hard class on top of my already hard classes. I find myself frustrated at myself for using the one elective course I get as a freshman engineering student on this extremely hard 407 level course instead of taking an easier GPA-booster. And it's not even that I have a bad grade in the course!

It's frustrating that I've become so concerned about grades once again. That I am not having fun reviewing for these classes.

But I also have to remind myself, even last year when the grades didn't matter, there were times that I was putting in a lot of effort into studying when I didn't actually want to. Did that make me not want to learn the subject? Did it mean that I wasn't a good student?

We all get burnt out. Even doing things that we're passionate about. (And trust me, I'm not really that passionate about multi.) Sometimes it's a little daunting, when all of a sudden things that we loved once become a chore. But most of the time it's just a rough patch. The chores slowly become enjoyable again. It takes time, and a great deal of frustration. But it's okay.

So I'm going to return to doing practice tests. I won't really enjoy doing them in prep for my finals a few days away. And it'll be frustrating, running into so many things throughout the course that I still don't understand. And I'll get worried about the grade I'll be able to make on the final because of these many things I don't understand.

But it's okay.


Besides, after this week, I won't have to deal with these classes ever again.
And yes, I did decide to overload next semester with the next level of Chinese. And my grades will suffer, taking 5 really hard classes rather than just 4 really hard classes. But that's okay. Because I want to learn.

Revival

Hey ya'll.

I know, I know. It's been seriously forever.

There are many reasons for that. And I could tell you them. But honestly it doesn't really matter.
Let's focus on the future instead, shall we?

I've been thinking about reviving this blog for a long time now, and have just never gotten around to it. But I've finally decided there's a lot I have to say, and I think it's important I put it out there to be heard.

We're taking a very new direction with this blog. No more baking (well, maybe occasionally). I'm not even sure if I want to give myself reoccurring, consistent days that I'll post. It's a battle; giving myself expectations spurs me to get things done, but also sometimes makes those tasks become chores rather than what I want to do for myself. I think I'm going to experiment with it for a little while before deciding for sure what exactly I do want to do.

The theme of this blog is just going to become my thoughts. (Don't worry, I won't bother you with the stupid ones - there's quite a few.) Essentially, just things I want to voice my opinion on, feel passionate enough to put my thoughts out on a public forum.

I hope you're on board for these new changes. Because I am.

Simplee,
Selene

China?!

Hey ya'll. I'm sure if you're a regular follower, you've noticed that I've been slacking with my Baking Through August posts.

The reason for that is I'm actually in transit to Beijing right now! I'm actually in DC, just finished pre-departure orientation for NSLI-Y, the program I'm going through, and will leave for Beijing for an entire 9 months today.

Crazy.

But yes. I don't have internet access really right now, except in the lobby (where I'm typing this), so I haven't been able to post. Do rest assured that I baked over 31 different items throughout August, but just unfortunately won't be able to blog about them.

That being said, I'm hoping to blog while I'm in China. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if Blogger or Blogspot are blocked there. I guess we'll find out! I'll keep you updated if I change URLs. Hopefully not, but it's looking like that will be the most likely outcome. Shucks.

I'm super-dee-duper excited about this upcoming trip, and hope to share all of my adventures and observations with all of you!! This isn't the last you've seen of me!

Day 29: Iced Sugar Cookies

Remember those jam swirls I made two weeks ago? Remember how I madesome extra cookie dough to use as a base for another recipe?

Well, this wasn't the intended recipe, but it did use the rest of that dough!

After kibitzing about icing this entire time, I thought I was due to makethe icing a focus of one recipe. as most Americans do like supah sweet items (...like icing),I thought it was due time. Even though the sugar cookie is the same, as required by this quest, the icing is one I've never made before: royal icing. 

It's quite majestic.

See what I did there?

Since the sugar cookie is the same, the process is just copy and pasted, with a few tweaks in the baking time.

The Sugar Cookie

The Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp salt
• 2 sticks butter, room temp.
• 1 ¼ cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tbsp whole milk

The recipe actually calls for a tablespoon of heavy cream, but heavy cream does not exist in my fridge. Since it was such a small amount, I figured that just using whole milk would work just fine. (I was right.)

I actually ended up doubling this recipe, as it freezes really well; the recipe I made today actually used the frozen dough, and it tasted just like the first time! The ingredients shown above show the amounts for one batch, but my pictures show the amounts for two, so don't be thrown off.

The Process

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.
Use an electric mixer, and beat the sugar and butter together until light and fluffy, like freshly fallen snow.
Switch the speed to low, and add the egg and vanilla. Mix until just combined.
Slowly add the flour mixture, then milk.
And scrape down dem sides as needed! And I assure you, it will be needed at least a couple of times. No skimpin' out on me now!

This is what your dough should look like.

Lay out some plastic wrap, and squish the dough into a rectangle on top. Cover the dough with the seran wrap and store it in the refrigerator until firm, at least an hour and up to overnight, or freeze it and thaw it right before you want to bake it!

Roll the dough to ~1/4" on a floured surface using a floured rolling pin, then cut it into all sorts of fun shapes usinga paring knife or cookie cutters (duh).

Place the cookies about an inch apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. The original recipe says to bake for 16-19 minutes at 350F. However, I found 14-15 minutes to be perfect using convection at 325F. Just bake until the edges are slightly golden-brown. Let cool completely on wire racks before icing.

The Icing

Ingredients

1 large egg white

1/4 tsp cream of tartar

1 to 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

The Process

Beat the egg using an electric mixer.

Add the dry ingredients, then beat on high until ribbons/ridges form when the icing is drizzled on itself. This should takeabout 5-7 minutes.

This is what your icing should look like.

To decorate, separate the icing into small ziploc bags, then dye it. Cut off the corner, then decorate away! This process allows for really detailed piping, without requiring fancy materials. To smooth out larger areas, use a clean butter knife.

If you're icing hardens while using it, just mix it up again.

The Finished Product

The Final Verdict

The sugar cookie itself is pretty good; crispy, but not per se crunchy. The icing isa bit sweet for me (no surprise), but it decorates and hardens nicely! Plus it makes the cookies pretty stinkin' cute, heehee~.

Both recipes perform as intended. For those who don't like a ton of sugar, beware: these are both quite sugary combinations. Consider reducing the amount of sugar in the cookie dough if you want to ice them.

Day 28: Pizza!!

Today we're making an American via Italy classic. Something everyone loves, in our own personal styles and flavors. That's right: today, we're making pizza!

This dough recipe comes once again from King Arthur. I know I use their site quite a lot, but that's because it's just honestly really really good!

And again, like the last times I've used King Arthur, I'm not making much commentary. This recipe isn't  as thorough as the others, but it's really straight forward and easy.

Plus I'm typing this in the middle of an airport on my iPad mini running on 3 hours of sleep. So YUP. Not much explanation from this chick today.

The Ingredients

The Process

Mix all the ingredients together. We also decided to add an Italian spice mix to our dough. Seems fitting for pizza, eh?

Knead the dough.

Let it rise, divide the dough, and roll it out!

Add whichever toppings you'd like, then bake*!

*We actually don't bake our pizzas in the oven. We put them in our ceramic egg grill. Which technically means I didn't bake these, but the grill really just acts like a brick oven rather than a traditional one. To grill our pizzzas, we heat the grill to 500F, then bake them for 6-8 minutes.

The Final Product

This is actually of a pick before they were baked. I forgot to take one afterwards. Oooopsss. But you get the picture.

The Final Verdict

Umm is pizza ever not good? Plus you get to personalize the toppings. Andif you use a grill, it gets this nice smoky flavor (just be careful not to burn the bottom!)

So yes.Very good. Very good indeed.

Day 27: Fruited Sourdough Sandwich Bread

This is my favorite sandwich bread. Instead of letting my mom make it this time, I decided to help out as well!

This is another King Arthur recipe, just like the rolls from Fancy Eggs in a Basket. Thus, I won't need to comment as much here because the recipe itself is extremely thorough.

The Ingredients

We just used unfed sourdough, and used the full 4 tablespoons of sugar, mainly just to use up all the rest of the raw sugar we had. 

We also add walnuts to our bread. Mmmm.

We doubled our recipe to make two loaves!

The Process

Obviously cut up your apples first, because no one actually just has a cup of chopped apples laying around.



We put the dry ingredients with the starter, then add water as we begin to mix it. However, to help our mixer manage this huge quantity of dough (remember, we doubled), we put in only half the flour and water at first, then add the rest once the first portion has been pretty well mixed in. We also added a little more water than called for, as my mom prefers this dough even wetter than it already is.



Once the flour and water have been mostly incorporated, add the apples. Once all of the flour and the apples have been mixed in, add the raisins and walnuts.

This is what your dough should look like. Ours is slightly tinged blue because of the walnuts.
To avoid this coloration, toast your walnuts. (But I personally think it's cool. Plus I'm too lazy to add another whole step.)

Let the dough rise.

Though if you double the recipe, you might want to consider moving the dough to a bigger bowl, or else you'll have a huge dough-y explosion catastrophe.

To cover the dough in the pans, we just used one shower cap suspended by a chopstick for both loaves.
You could also easily use a large ziploc bag.

Let the dough rise again, then bake!

The Final Product

Some Notes

The bread is a little bit purple, again because of the walnuts. And again, I think this is cool. But I definitely got comments when I'd take this bread to lunch about the weird, somewhat concerning color.

If I Could Do It Again....

Maybe use a little less water. We used a little bit too much over what they suggested.

And use a bigger bowl for letting the dough rise. Definitely use a bigger bowl.

The Final Verdict

This bread is so goood. Fruity and nutty and sweet. And a cool color to boot! Great on it's own, or toasted, or for a PB&J. Seriously just great no matter what.

It's also nice to be able to use the unfed sourdough starter.

So if you have any sourdough started, you definitely need to make this bread! If not, you should consider starting some, because it is great for so many different recipes.

Day 25: Easy Nutella Cookies

I saw this pin on Pinterest a few weeks back, and decided this would be a great quick cookie to try.

However, this pin seriously has zero instructions! I still decided I wanted to try these, and hash out a process for others to try.

The Ingredients

• 1 cup Nutella
• 1 cup whole wheat white flour
• 1 large egg
• Splash of milk (~1 tbsp)

The Process

Preheat the oven to 350°F.

Mix the Nutella, flour, and egg together. I started by using a fork, then switched to using my hands to try to incorporate everything together.
At this point, I noticed the dough was wayyyy dry and decided to add a splash of milk, though it's not in the original picture. Add however much milk as needed, using only small doses at a time.

Grease a baking sheet. I wasn't sure how far these cookies needed to be away from, or how much they'd spread. I pressed a heaping tablespoon
into a thick cylinder, and placed them quite far away. However, the cookies didn't spread very much.

Bake the cookies for 8-10 minutes (not the same amount as the original pin). Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes.

The Final Product

Some Notes

These cookies are extremely dry, and really not very flavorful. 

If I Could Do It Again....

I'd definitely add a teaspoon of vanilla extract.

I'd press the cookies down flatter.

I think I'd try reducing the amount of flour, and possibly adding more milk. Not really sure.

The Final Verdict

Despite what the pin claims, these cookies are NOT the best ever. In fact, they're pretty horrible. Super dry, and no flavor. So bad texture and bad taste. On top of that, flour and Nutella are pretty expensive calorie wise. Yuck yuck yuck.

I really wanted these to work. I wanted them to work so badly. It'd be so great to be able to whip these out in just a few minutes.

But no. They were horrible.

Just don't do it. Just don't.